10 Strategic Items Every College Guy Needs

// September 15, 2016
(6 Minute Read)

College is four to seven quick years of your life and then it’s over, so here’s a post from the older brother you never had that’ll equip you with everything you need to make sure you’re doing college right.

#10 – The Gym Bag:

Chances are you weren’t a gym rat in high-school, but that’s all about to change, and for those of you that were, it’s time to step up your game. Your college years will be exponentially more exciting when you’re fit as hell and not walking out with a beer-gut when you grab your diploma. You don’t need to ball out on a bag, but get something nice that will last, LIKE THIS ONE. It’s stylish, yet functional, and you’re sure to grab the attention when its time to get your lift on.

#9- The Shower Caddy:

As you adjust to your new life in college, your dorm shower will be many things… A friend when you need some rave-recovery… A priest to wipe away the sins of the night before and soothe your hangover… A lover when you find that adventurous R.A. who can’t be seen rushing you into her room… A personal trainer to handle your cool-down after the gym… But there’s one thing your dorm shower will never be: C.L.E.A.N.
Grab a shower caddy like this one and fill it with a facial scrub, a scrunchy shower thing and body wash. Don’t touch the walls if you can help it and DON’T shower with your tooth brush in there. Just don’t.

Pick up a pair of cheap flops too, it’s all fun and games until someone gets tape-worm.

#8- A Pair of Shoes for Each Occasion:


The Every-Day Pair: You need a comfy pair to wear to class and around town, like THESE.

GYM Sneaks: A pair of running shoes like these: or dead-lift slippers like these: If you’re spending the right amount of time in the gym, you’ll want both.

The Gentlemen: Even if you only wear them once a semester, you should have a nice pair of dress shoes handy. When you want to class-it-up for a special night with the wifey, or ball-out for your boi’s birthday bash in the city, you’ll want these in your wardrobe. Remember, “Oxfords, not Brogues.”

The Greek Sneaks: This is the pair of shoes for you to destroy without pity, perfect for those long nights at basement parties or packed-out bars. Pick a pair and stick with em (preferably black to hide the colors or whatever goo they get covered with). DON’T make the mistake of ruining your other shoes. You’re balling on a budget.

Last, but not least, the Adidas Flops: I’ve seen people wear nothing else for whole semesters. They’re comfy as hell and you can wear them with just about anything. Just remember, they’re probably not good for the cold seasons and if you wear them 24/7, you’ll look like a slob. Keep the Oxfords on deck and your style in check.

#7- The Last Pair of Sweatpants You’ll Ever Wear


#6- The Backpack:

Don’t fuck around with a single strap, double strap it, and keep that back straight. Grab a backpack from L.L. BEAN. They have a lifetime warranty, so if you rip it (or, say, your best friend pukes all over it), they’ll replace it for free, forever. No matter how many times it gets covered in vom.

#5- Mood Lighting:


I’m not talking about a strobe light or disco ball, I’m talking about dimmers, or more specifically, the Lava Lamp. Everyone’s anxious in college, and the people you’ll be bringing home to your mancave are no exception. Even drunk, many of us are still insecure about our bodies, even when there’s nothing to worry about, especially with a new partner. Kill the negativity and the lights and get ready for some 60’s style smashing in the orange glow of your Lava Lamp. Orange is actually one of the most soothing colors; just dark enough to ease the tension, but light enough to still see the good stuff. You’ll thank us later. Not feeling the groove? Get a Philips Hue LED. It’s a color-changing bluetooth lightbulb you can control with your phone. Pricey, but they’ll turn any room into a bachelor pad instantly, clapper sold separately.

#4- A GODDAMNED FAN:gettyimages-149318169


Trust us, this day will come: It’ll be 85 degrees fahrenheit (but the “FEELS LIKE” temp will say 140*) and you’ll be in your dorm or apartment, naked on the carpet sweating to death. Don’t let this happen to you. Also note that dorms USUALLY don’t have A/C, even for you Ivy-League hopefuls. Owning a fan will also make your post-sex-cuddling bearable on those summer nights. You are a cuddler, right?

#3- A Nice Watch That Works With Everything:

Buy one and done, you’re instantly classier. Rise above the screen-staring zombies and stop using your phone to tell time. And seriously, don’t get a digital one. What are you, five?


#2- Hater Blockers:

Whether that means headphones or sunglasses, make sure they’re high quality. A slick pair of shades will be necessary for walking to class or day drinking events that are sure to fill the warmer part of the school year. Plus, while many of you hipster-types might hate the thought of spending 100+ on sunglasses, wearing your Ray Ban Wayfarers around shows the ladies that you’re responsible enough to take care of things that fit your expensive taste (just follow-through and don’t lose them). Headphones are a must, be it for locking down for a cram-study session, blocking out the world on those pre-coffee walks to your 8am class, or for when your roommate falls in “love” with a high-energy bae who’s vocal about her feelings. Get a badass pair, like the critically acclaimed Audio-Technica ATH-M50x (CNET).


#1- A JOB

College gets expensive, especially when you party hard or have no points left on your meal-plan. Grab a job where you can, and if you can’t get one in your field of study, get one that’ll feed you. Stay tuned for our article on the top ranked jobs for Young Brofessionals working their way to a diploma. Hint: Bartenders get steep discounts…

Litness, Style

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