4 things to consider before you light up…

Do's & Don'ts
// July 2, 2016

(4 Minute Read)

There’s plenty of reasons out there not to smoke cigarettes. Cancer’s bad, you’ll ruin your signing career, and you’ll have horrible morning breath. These things aside, you may still be tempted to pick up the bad habit, and that’s why the Young Brofessionals are here to sort you out.

Reason #1:

Smoking won’t get you laid.
Actually, smoking did get me laid once. ONCE. I started chatting up an exchange student while we were outside a bar smoking and you can probably guess the rest (except for the part where my roommate at the time occasionally slept with his eyes open, which led her to express a totally understandable, but undesirable freak-out). However, this is a rare case. Most people (especially women), find smoking to be a major turn-off. From the time you have a DARE officer visit you in middle-school to those commercials during the game, you’re taught that smoking not only makes your teeth yellow or brown, but fills your lungs with tar, makes your tongue taste like an ashtray and gives you the world’s worst morning breath. Oh yeah, and it can also kill you.

Reason #2:

Smoking is generally regarded as a bad career move.
Think about it. Would you go to a job interview in your best suit reeking of cigarettes? The two basically cancel each other out when it comes to hiring potential. Don’t forget that the link between smoking and cancer was discovered in the 1950s, and that means every employer that interviews you probably thinks it’s bad move. They probably also have a relative or two who died from cancer, because there was a point in time where everyone from your teacher to your priest smoked. That’s not the kind of negativity you want floating through their mind during your job interview. Moreover, someone who blatantly disregards their health might be seen as irresponsible, immature, or just plain stupid (something to consider when trying to get a date). Additionally, smoking is also known for two other negative side-effects: smoke breaks, and elevated aggression when you can’t get a smoke break. Essentially, if you smell like smoke and you’re asking an employer for a job, you’re asking them to pay you an equal amount for less work than other, non-smoking employees, AND put up with your shit when cravings hit. Additionally, most big firms (the places where you CPA kids will make bank) won’t hire smokers SPECIFICALLY because it cuts into productivity, and more importantly, their bottom line.

Reason #3:

Smoking can kill your stamina.
This holds true both inside and outside of the bedroom. I worked in restaurants for most of my college career, which, aside from my peeping-tom roommate, was a major factor in my becoming addicted to smoking. One summer I worked close to 60-hour weeks (work, sleep, repeat), which led to an above average amount of smoking. When it came time for some physical endurance outside of the kitchen (my morning runs, lifting, or some sweet, sweet love-making) I suddenly found myself having less energy than ever. Smoking burdens your lungs and makes you winded. Skip it, and opt for high-performance instead.

Reason #4:

Smoking is EXPENSIVE.
You might not realize it, but ten or twelve bucks every few days or just every weekend (for you “social smokers”) burns a fat hole in your pocket, even on a decent wage. That money can be better spent on the finer things, like: party supplies, clothing to keep your look fresh, haircuts to kill that mullet, and important things like gas, SOAP, condoms, toilet paper, that sick leather backpack you always wanted, drunk pizza and protein.

Today when I feel a craving coming on, I drive down to the bank and deposit however much I think I would’ve spent on cigarettes this week in a savings account. Try it sometime.

Use your brain, save yourself some money, and keep your goals in check.

One thought on “4 things to consider before you light up…

  1. youngbro says:


Leave a Reply