Transform Your Life : From Suit to Swole
It’s that fabled time of year, Summer, which means the “sun’s out, guns out” parade is officially about to begin. However, not every job, office or workplace is keen on you wearing that gym tank while helping Suzy with her customer service complaint. So you’re going to need a game plan if your goal is to get swole for summer while working hard like the brofessional you are.
The Game Plan:
It doesn’t really matter if you hit the weights before or after the office as long as you fit it in – which means no excuses like “I forgot my headphones” or “I’ll just double up tomorrow”. Keeping a regimented schedule is phase numero uno. Think of the gym as your version of “moonlighting”. It’s that second job that doesn’t pay the bills, but pays you in other ways (mainly gains and women). Whether you’re a 7-day a weak beast, or complete the average 3-day routine of Chest/Tris, Back/Bis and Legs (every other week, or month) find the routine that fits your work schedule and fitness goals and stick with it, like that clingy freshman girl that wouldn’t leave you alone after that one night of fun in college.
But we get it, daily workouts can involve a lot of schlepping, whether it’s clothes, shoes, shakers, belts, or those weird rubber band things (don’t be that guy). So phase numero two is go out and acquire a duffel bag. Not that decrepit, dead-animal smelling bag you’ve been dragging back and forth for 5-years of college that has enough spilt pre-workout sloshing around in it to refill two containers and can sometimes smell like you’re carrying around something you scrapped off the road on your way to the gym. We mean a brofessional looking bag (spring for the nice leather one) that could be mistaken for your briefcase or backpack. Nobody should be able to tell (or smell) that you just set 2 new PRs and got a better ROG (Return On Gymvestment) than last week.
Lastly, take the time every night (stop being a lazy scrub) to clean and repack your sweat swag. That includes all the shit you need so you don’t make any excuses for why you can’t push lead that day. And do yourself a favor and wash your shaker bottle before it starts to grow that horrible layer of radioactive Chernobyl algae of left over protein. Then sooner or later you have 17 shaker bottles and only 1 is actually usable without a hazmat suit.
The Lunch Lifter
However, not everyone has the time to lift before or after work, so here we have 3 guidelines to adhere to if you’re one of those lunch break gym goers.
- Hanger – FOR THE LOVE OF GOD BRING A HANGER. Whether you bought your suit at Macy’s for $100 or Hugo Boss for $800, cramming it into the gym locker that sweaty Steve used right before you got there, can and WILL upset the dapper gods. Hanging your suit will keep it wrinkle free and save your wallet from that pesky dry cleaners. Which I’m still convinced doesn’t even do anything beside put it on that spinning rack and wait for you to comeback and pick it up.
- Sock and Skivvies – Do yourself, and your coworkers a favor and change your damn socks and skivvies before you suit up to go back to work. Not only is NOT doing so a sure fire way to make those nice leather loafers you wear, smell like a football team’s locker room, but you never know when your sexy co-worker Stacy might need help in the supply closet…. finding supplies…. or something.
- Shower – I know, I know, this might seem like common sense. Yet there are still guys who think they can pull of the Maverick in the elevator with Charlie scene in Top Gun. Nothing’s worse than riding the elevator 18 floors knowing you’re the reason for that disgusted look on everyone’s face. (Specifically that guy who worked at Deloitte 2 floors above me at One World Trade, you smelly man beast). So plain and simple, soap up before you suit back up.
Follow this game plan and we assure that you’ll earn
‘brofessional of the month’ at the office and the gym.