How to Handle Your Meat
How to Handle Your Meat
It’s time to talk about your meat. That’s right, your meat. Your meat is important. If you’re a real man, you use your meat every day. You share your meat with whatever girl is lucky enough to touch it and put it in their mouth. Men who can use their meat right are instantly more attractive to the opposite sex. This is no game. So I’m going to tell you how handle your meat properly. Every step from beating your meat, to slowly inserting it into the facial orifices of your female companion.
Brace yourselves Gentlemen. This is how you cook the perfect rib-eye steak.
now for some foodporn to get you mentally prepped for this essential part of your life as a bro…
1. Acquire steak. If your freezer isn’t already well stocked with gorgeous stake, you’re fucking up. Any time you’re in the supermarket and see a steak on sale, grab it. It’s going to do three things: 1. Help you hone your cooking skills to an expert level 2. Save you tons of cash 3. Make you a happier person.
2. Take rib-eye out of packaging. Lightly tenderize both sides of the steak using meat tenderizer or clenched fists (preferred). Start thinking about how fucking good this steak is going to be.
This shit is fire^
3. Place a cast iron skillet in the oven and preheat the oven to 500°F. Brush both sides of the steak with oil (canola preferably) and season generously with salt and pepper. When the oven is heated to temperature, carefully remove the pan and place on the stovetop over high heat.
Ribeye with Caramelized Shallots and Blue Cheese Butter^
4. Place the steak in the dry skillet and sear for 30 seconds. Flip the steak and sear the other side for another 30 seconds. Remove from heat.
5. Following the second searing, immediately place the skillet into the oven and leave for 2 minutes.
6. Remove the skillet, flip the steak and cook for another 2 minutes.
Blackened Rib-Eye with Grilled Shrimp & Baked Sweet Potato^
7. Remove the skillet from the oven. Remove steak from pan and place on sheet of foil. Cover the steak loosely but completely in the foil and let sit for 2 minutes.
8. Serve sliced or whole. If you’re feeding your girl, cut it up nice and use some fancy silverware. Airplane that shit into her mouth.
Well that’s about it. Hopefully now you know how to properly handle your meat.
Every Young Brofessional should.
Don’t forget about sides, and if you want to get REALLY crazy, try this recipe for a “Black and Bleu” Guinness demi-glaced Ribeye with mashed potatoes and sautéed green beans. Don’t let anyone catch you getting hard from this pic, but don’t lie and tell me you’re not.