How to Roll Up Like a Boss
How to Roll Up Like a Boss
( 3 Minute Read )
There comes a point in every stoner’s life where they hit a bomb ass blunt and think, “Damn I need to learn how to roll,” and I’m not talking dinner rolls. But seriously, where do you begin? How hard is it to roll? What should I roll with? Who can teach me? Well, you’ve gone far enough. That’s right, Daddy is going to give you the rundown on how to roll up and what to roll based on experience.
This is where every rolling novice should begin. They give you like 100 chances for $1.25 If you can’t roll one good joint out of a box of papers than shit, rolling probably won’t be for you. If you fuck up that much just go buy cones for your weak ass self and start stuffing. These are by far the easiest to roll because of their size and the gum strip. They come neatly folded already so there is a pocket already created for your herb. It’s important to note that rolling papers burn much more quickly than any other rolling material. For a slower and cleaner tasting paper try and find rice papers.
These are the blunt version of rolling papers. Blunt wraps are slightly more difficult to roll than papers simply because it’s harder to get these to stick and it requires more herb. I’d recommend these if you’ve never rolled a blunt as most come with two in a pack so you get a safety net to catch you if you fuck up. Don’t linger on these, once you get the craft down stop being a bitch roll real blunts.
Cigarillos are like a miniature version of a dutch. Cigarillos are the next step up from wraps. Still small like a blunt wrap however this is the first time you’ll encounter both the inner and outer leaf of a blunt. The inner leaf rolls very similarly to a paper and is by far the most important. The outer leaf will provide you with flavor and extra support. Use the outer leaf to help seal up the inner leaf and patch up and janky work you might’ve done.
These require a little more experience than the last. Large in size and bold in flavor, this is by far one of my personal favorites. Each dutch will face you with both the inner leaf and outer leaf like a cigarillo, except it’s easier to strip the outer leaf off these than it is a cigarillo. They burn slows, hit like a dream, taste incredible and are party favorites. Everyone can appreciate a nicely rolled dutch, so when you get to this level get ready for some praise. Fun fact, bitches love blunts. They are easy to hit and pass around, and you really can’t break it unless you’re a dumbass.
Last but not least Fronto, this shit will fuck you up real quick. It is the best, the smoothest, and by far the most difficult to roll. Fronto is pretty much a gigantic tobacco leaf you tear apart, smooth out, and roll up yourself. I’d only roll this for a certain crowd as it packs quite a punch and a lot of bitch ass people can’t hang with the streets. This is some expert level shit my brother. I’m talking the final boss of rolling.
So how does one roll? There are many different styles of rolling and no two people quite do it the same. Some people air roll, some people roll on tables, on other people roll face. What ever gets the job done for you is the right way. Each follows the same basic principles and techniques. First find what you’re rolling with and lay it open, then begin to grind up whatever you finna smoke. Next fill that bitch up with some of that bomb ass purp skurps you got from the kid who used to sell out of his dorm. Now we rollin’ rollin’ rollin’, seriously that’s what you need to do. Wrap the paper around the green and work it between your fingers so it spreads through the paper evenly, then begin to tuck the paper under the green. Now lick the gum and carefully roll over your wrap, tight but lose enough to allow air flow, and continue to roll until the paper hits that gum. When it hits the sticky strip and your paper is all sealed off you should be good to go so light that puppy up and see how she smokes.
Learn from what I have taught you young ones. How do you roll up?
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