Hyper-Performance Alcohol Additives Part1: Redbull for Beginners
The Do’s and Don’t’s of Experimenting With Hyper-Performance Alcohol Additives Part 1:
RedBull – For Beginners
Do: Rum and Redbull for the first three drinks, or between other drinks in your 6 Drink Total (See article: The 6 Drink Pro-Move: Every Man’s Arsenal)
Results: You stay lit and active, and get pleasantly drunk without falling victim to sleepiness or blackout rage. Plus, if you somehow get blackout during or after your 6 drinks, you’ll more than likely be in your happy place, and at best wake up to a video of you killing it on the dancefloor before you vomit on yourself/ someone else.
DON’T: Rum and RedBull for every drink, while doing shots with friends, while doing multiple shots at all, or after a chugging competition. You will not feel good and this may hurt you. You will also find it very hard to sleep, and even harder to get hard (beer belly + liquor = flacid. Your blood will be too diluted with carbs. Not. Worth. It. Remember: You want to use your penis tonight) That’s why you’re downing performance enhancing assets.) This dumb way of drinking could also lead you into a state of blind rage. #RedbullRage Or alcohol poisoning. Which is real, and is a very poor way to go. More than anything, however, this will just lead to excessive vomiting — most likely before you get back to your apartment.
IMPORTANT: Use this alcohol infused energy boost for highly energetic sex. This is the point of this ritual. You’ll probably last longer too. …Highly recommended you do not use this to masturbate. Keep 911 on speed dial and use a lubricant to avoid decapitating your main man.
Author’s Note: Try the “Hardon” a drink of my own creation, named by me. Ask your bartender for one.
Recipe: 1 part tequila, 1 part RedBull, 1 part pineapple juice, served in a large plastic cup.
I have never had a bad night on these, except once when the lucky lady I was with tried to fuck me in a closet POW style like the Maverick McCain– Too small to stand up or lay down in. Judging by the snapchat taken of me banging her over the kitchen sink, I was in a pretty good mood. So was she (and that’s important).
USE CAUTION WITH ALL OF THIS. WE ARE NOT LIABLE. NOR OUR OUT LAWYERS. TY.
ALSO, DON’T DRINK AND DRIVE DIPSHIT!