Why Threesomes are Overrated

Just The Tips
// April 23, 2016
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(4 Minute Read)

Gather around, let us talk about threesomes. The three layer cake, the devils three way, ménage à trois, or the good old flesh sandwich. Whatever you call it, we’ve all thought about it and probably still dream about it. It’s every college fuck boy’s wet dream to have two bad bitches wanting to share his penis, just like some bitches want a lot of peen. Threesomes are idolized and that’s what bothers me. Like fuck yeah bro, it’s cool as hell. It will probably amount to the one cool story in your life.


Why Threesomes are Overrated


Hear me out though, have you ever taken the time to think about how much work you’d actually have to do for that? I mean think about how much work it takes to please one woman and now you have to take on two at the same time? You seriously need some A+ dick game to make this happen. This is tactical level fucking. You have so many things to balance while keeping your dick hard as shit long enough to please two people. You might as well pop a Cialis because you know how that shit goes.


Why Threesomes are Overrated


  1. First off you always have to stay hydrated. Honestly it is your h-2-bro. It’ll keep you fucking and god knows you’ll need it. Now that’s a minimum of three water bottles you’re using for one night of sex.
  2. There is favoritism. Come on now, you know one girl is going to have that vagina that feels like you found happiness and the other girl might not have such fire poons. This shit causes problems, you’ll have a tendency to want to keep fucking one girl but you have to spread the love evenly. Unless it sparks a competition, then you let the games begin you sick fuck.
  3. You cum once and its game over. That’s it. You have one in the chamber but two equally deserving participants. Who do you give it too? Do you have enough to share? Did you bring enough for the class? Four eyes and only one shot, cheers.

    Why Threesomes are Overrated


  4. You need a big space to do this. Three bodies, damn. That’s a lot of space and those dorm room twin size mattresses won’t cut it.
  5. If you bust early you’ve let down two people quicker than you killed your parent’s dreams when you were born.
  6. Lube everywhere.

    Why Threesomes are Overrated


  7. The room will smell like funk. This isn’t really a problem for you but if you live with other people (assuming they’re not participating) they might be a little upset.
  8. Unless this is a casual thing it could potentially alter any relationship involved for better or worse. Something to consider for those two love birds trying to spice things up with a stranger in the bedroom. Just look at this guy.

    Why Threesomes are Overrated


  9. You need condoms on deck.
  10. Just because one girl likes to be choked does not mean the same for the other. There are boundaries and rules you have to agree upon before heading in.
  11. You potentially have to share your bed with two people now and you already wanted to be asleep three hours ago.

    Why Threesomes are Overrated


  12. If you mess it up, you might never get the chance to do it again. Keep your head in the game fam, literally.
  13. You’ve successfully doubled your chance at an STD. Congratulations, you played yourself.
  14. Imagine you got two girls pregnant in one night? Legendary.
  15. Nobody is going to believe you unless you have evidence.

Why Threesomes are Overrated


So while threesomes are a wonderful idea, it is a little more difficult in reality. If you have the chance to do this wonderful thing, you better not let us down. Everyone is counting on you. We are here with you and we support you decision to test your manhood on the most glory filled fields.

-Casabrova

Categories
Just The Tips, Sex

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